You may wonder how you can motivate your children to listen to you, how to reinforce them so that it is not so burdensome for both parents and children to follow the rules. For example, if you want them to clean up their bedroom or do their homework, so as not to repeat it so many times, you may think that motivating them with a reward or telling them that if they do not do it they will receive a punishment, perhaps you think it is the smartest option to do. you can take … But it is not like that.
In reality, you don’t need to use rewards or blackmail to motivate your children to do the right thing. If you do, it will be a double-edged sword that you will regret having started using, do you want to know why? Do not lose detail.
Neither Awards Nor Blackmails
The motivation for us to really do things correctly must come from within us. Only in this way will objectives and goals be achieved. Children need intrinsic motivation for this behavior change to really take place. If what you do is give them extrinsic motivation (outside of themselves), when that motivation disappears, their desire to do things well will also disappear.
If they don’t get the desired or avoid the unwanted, they will not be motivated to comply with the rules. The prize in itself is not bad, but it should not be used as a norm to motivate children, because if you do it that way, when there is no prize, there will be no motivation either.
How To Boost Intrinsic Motivation
Therefore, what really matters is to motivate children in a way that comes out of themselves, that the change occurs in themselves and that they feel that they are really in control of their decisions. In other words, the intrinsic motivation of children must be strengthened.
To achieve this you have to do it with emotional reinforcement. For example, if your child studies a lot and tries hard but his grades are very fair, you have to reinforce him emotionally. You should praise him because what you are valuing is his effort and that praise will help him to continue trying, even if the grade has been low. With that effort, the grades will improve.
Of course, to stay motivated it is important that the goal to be met is realistic and that children are able to achieve it. Asking a trout to climb a tree is simply not feasible, right? If you set goals too complicated for them to reach them, the motivation will quickly disappear and frustration will appear.
How To Motivate You Without Blackmail Or Rewards
If you want to motivate your child to comply with the rules but want to put rewards and blackmail aside forever, don’t miss these keys that you should remember from now on:
- Help him reflect on topics and goals that are realistic for his ability.
- Allow autonomy time in daily tasks but guide him whenever he feels lost.
- Help him boost his critical thinking and improve his conflict resolution skills.
- Tell him to teach you something that he knows how to do but you can’t. You will feel better and you will be motivated.
- Tell him to help you do some things you do at home, he will feel valuable.
- Teach him to be persistent, to enjoy triumphs, and to learn from mistakes.
- Teach him the value of effort in any aspect of life.
- Don’t just praise their achievements, praise their effort and perseverance.
These are some ways you can consider to be able to motivate your children without resorting to blackmail or rewards. Now you just have to start them and realize the importance of intrinsic motivation in the lives of children, and of any person.…